Puddles

Normally I wouldn't post two days in a row, but I could not resist sharing this story. As Fraulein Maria would say, "Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start..." this afternoon the storms rolled in and for HOURS sheets of jungle rain fell. I had just been telling my friends that I was hoping for rain so that I could debut my new gold Hunter wellies. Well...my wish had come true but all my rain gear was in my car forcing me to RUN and soaked. I came home to change, put on the gear, then picked up Mini and came back home for happy hour. My friend Ana came over and we started playing with C...I'm running around and have yet to take the boots off. When I start to notice a particular aroma coming from Mini, so we go to the nursery to change her. As Mini is getting changed Ana points out that Mini has a small diaper rash developing, so we decide to put on Triple Paste and let her have some Donald Duck like pantless naked time. I told Ana, that in the past we had tried this and it always ends up the same way...puddles on the floor (thank God we have tile). Everything seems under control as we're strategically playing with Mini in her nursery. Just then, I decide it's time for the Hunters to come off...but low and behold due to a possible lack of potassium or water, my right calf cramps up like it's nobody's business...I mean...I'm in pain and the boots still on....I roll to my side in withering pain and Mini becomes so upset thinking I'm dying, all while "Tia Ana" is laughing her booticon off...and just like clockwork, the rivers flow from Mini...I'm still paralyzed and Ana can't stop laughing so Mini starts to slip and slide in her puddle while Ana is trying to stop laughing long enough to call for help...and I'm still withering in pain with an out of control cramp in my leg...did I mention that Mini thought I was dying so she's still freaking out... "DOOOOON.....ADAAAAM....ANYONE.....PLEASE.....HELP US!"... do they run in like gallant men?...no...it takes 3-4 rounds of this chant as Ana tries to hold on to baby who's slippin' in pee...and I'm still apparently giving birth to a Hunter wellie. D finally decides to roll in on this scene, and I tell him " put her in the bath, she's covered in pee"..."What?" he responds trying to make sense of the scene laid out before him... I don't know what was so hard to understand...but then again, Ana's still laughing, I'm still birthin' and Mini is still covered in pee. So she gets plopped in tub( which she wants out of because mom's dying) and I'm hobbling into the bathroom, Ana is swiffering...and D decides this is as good a time as any to exit the scene.
In the end...the floor got cleaned, the cramp loosened up, baby got a bath...and we will never forget this Fellini meets Benny Hill like moment in our lives.