Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Funny Thing Happened on My Way to Hang Up Her Towel...

So a funny thing happened on my way to hang up C's towel after her bath last night. I rammed my pinky toe into the door..."Ouch"...a bad stubbing if I ever felt one.
Well, as the night progressed my pinky toe hurt just as much as it did when I initially stubbed it...and it kept hurting all night. I decided NOT to look at it until morning.
When I woke up today, the pain was there and my poor pinky was swollen... I decided to call my Doctor's office after dropping off C.
"Well, a phone consultation will cost you $20" the receptionist told me over the phone, "That's fine, I just need to know if I should go to the ER because I may have a broken toe" I said to him. "Oh, well the podiatrist is in today and she would refer you to him anyhow...would you like to come in and see him?" ... at 9:35 am I arrived for my 9:30am appointment with ...we'll call him, "Dr. Rush". I first saw Dr. Rush at about 10:15am while waiting in the "inner waiting room" of the office.
A man about 50 years of age wearing glasses, a Rush T-Shirt, jeans, sneakers and the smallest fanny pack comes in and casually says, "Cecilia"..."Yes?" "Dude! Those shades! It's like the Elvis Costello look! I'm going to have to call you Elvis for a whille." "Uh-Ok" I reluctantly respond...he then promises he'll be with me in 3 minutes... 15 minutes later he calls me back and bolts...I normally would be right behind him, but see my gimpy foot is keeping from doing so, so I hobble over in his direction as fast as possible. Once inside the room he asks me to take off my shoes so he can compare the injured toe to the healthy toe. I follow instructions and once he lays his eyes on pinky he says, "Oh baby, that's busted." (seriously how many times did he hit the bong before seeing patients today?)... so in order to get a real diagnosis he orders X-Rays and then sends me to the "inner waitingroom" again.
Joining me in the "inner waiting room" this time is an older woman about 70 with a fancy built in seat walker and a small oxygen tank, another older woman with the same sort of shmancy walker and a woman about 40 playing soduko on her iPhone.
The oxygened older woman begins to perfume herself with a large bottle of Eau de Je Nais Sais Pas... and the other walker bound woman starts talking to her partner, "Man, if I'd known he was going to see my feet today I would have scrubbed them. They are so dirty"...she then also goes on to share with us, "My fungus is so bad, my feet really hurt!"... as Charlie Sheen would say "WINNER!" ... the rooms slowly empties out and I am left alone when Dr. Rush comes by and hands me a quarter, "If it's broken I keep it, if it's not you keep it!" I take the quarter and thank him "This will come in handy for parking" I tell him. He then sits down and starts talking about my presummed broken toe and how to treat it, "We can't do much, we'll wrap it to the other toe...and you'll elevate it...be careful with it." he tells me, so I ask "What about the pain? It still hurts a lot", he looks up at me and says, "Well, what do you want?" (no joke...who needs a pill mill when you have Dr. Rush?!)...once he realizes I am breasfeeding he reccomends I take tylenol.
The X-Rays finally come back and we go take a looky loo in his office. "These are skinny toes!" he tells me, so I quietly think to myself, "Well, you are looking at my skeleton" and then he says "Ok, you're good...it's not broken" ...he continues by tellilng me that he will wrap my toe to the other and I should just watch it and be careful for the next few days.
I finally left the foot experience at 11:15am... and treated myself to a well deserved sushi and mac-n-cheese to-go lunch from Whole Foods. ... good times!

2 comments:

  1. Gotta love MDs that hit the pipe. At least he wasn't a pediatrician. Good luck with your little piggy!

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  2. Did he smell like the Mary Jane?

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